The Hole In One

Today was a wonderful day. The morning started on the golf course. We learned that this course will probably close this year to make way for condos..unfortunately. My two friends and I met at the course that we played more frequently a couple of years ago. We were just learning the game and really struggled through this course, which is mainly par 3 and par 4's, a snap for the seasoned golfer. We would fret over the water balls and the longest hole seemed like an eternity.
One beautiful summer day two years ago, on the sixth hole, we hit off the tee. Janet and I had taken our turns and Sue was up at the tee. We are not serious golfers and when someone was up at the tee the other two people tended to talk quietly . For us, golf was also a social sport. Most of the time we apologized for not keeping track of our co members ball. However, on this hole, by some miracle of the golf gods, Janet and I had our eyes glued to the ball as Sue drove her ball right up the fairway onto the green and into the hole!!! A hole in one!!! We were totally amazed and Sue looked in shock!! At any minute I expected the skies to open and confetti and balloons to reign down upon this miraculous golfer. Once we finished our "hole in one" jig, which we made up on the spot, Sue needed to tell Bob, her husband. Luckily, I had my cell phone in my bag and even luckier, the cell phone worked that day! It was a moment of pure celebration and it felt wonderful to be a part of it.
Today we returned to Hole 6 at Firefly prepared.....we all brought a camera to have a memory of that wonderful moment two years ago. As we played the first few holes, Sue was not happy with her performance and I said, "Don't worry, your whole game will turn around at hole 6". The cameras came out and we took pictures of Sue on the tee and then she took her shot......and sure enough, it sailed right up onto the green. Although it wasn't a hole in one, it certainly was a great shot. Up at the pin, we got a few shots of Sue and each of us to bring us back to that special day.
This brings us to now. My plan was to learn how to upload photos to this lovely blog and today was definitely my day to try it. Unfortunately technical difficulties are in my way. Apparently the USB cord that came with the camera does not fit into the camera so it looks like a trip to the store and then I'll try again!! .....this is sounding like golf!!

Edited to add: As you can see, I finally figured out how to post a picture!!

The Checklist

This is a day to get things handled. I've got alot of birthday, anniversary, special occassion presents to get and I am feeling stumped with ideas for these gifts. Its not easy to always have a good idea for a present. I love it when I think of just the right thing for a special person and giving that gift is just so much fun. But for now, I am stuck. I need an Anniversary gift for my sister and brother-in-law, a birthday gift for Chris and one for Karisa and I am stuck on all counts. Part of this dilemma is that I need to buy within a very small budget and I am really not liking that! When I think of some of the gifts I have given over the years, this year seems like a dud. I also know that I need to change my thinking around this or it will be more upsetting than it needs to be. I need to focus on the interests of those people and then find something special within my price range. The "within my price range" is the new learning to me. I do have a thought for Karisa....my sister told me that she wants to learn to knit..so I could give her a gift certificate to the yarn shop near the mall and start her with lessons...That may be fun. I think Chris would really enjoy the idea of extra cash that is not for something of a necessity...so fun buying. I am not narrowed down to one gift to keep thinking about..Pat and Kevin's Anniversary Present...ok..That's not so bad.
Later this morning, my friend, Anne and I are going shopping and I should have another item checked off my to-do list! I really like to plan ahead with gift ideas but there are times when pulling through at the last minute feels great.
My next goal will be getting some photos on this blog.....yet another item on the check list! Checklists only feel good when you are checking things off.

Time for the Pity Party to End....

Vacation does not feel so good. I have worked a bit to clear some time so we can play and guess what ....we are not playing..ugh!!!
We went to a little birthday party for Othniel yesterday afternoon. Chris did not feel well so we needed to leave after about an hour. I felt very cheated......out of a good time that I wanted to have. Chris has alot of chest congestion and generally looks pretty pale and clammy...not a pretty sight. Nevertheless, I am having a pity party about this vacation going down the toilet. It was bad enough not really having any money to do something really good but now I feel stuck just waiting for Chris to brighten up....and why is it my job to put together the fun, figure out how to pay for it and generally do all the other stuff that needs to happen. I am thinking that we need to regroup.

I do know that I have to take responsibility for my happiness....and probably looking into joining the Peace Corps was more of a reaction to my pity party than a burning desire to do something wonderful with my life..or was it? Right after college, I planned to go to St. Thomas, USVI to teach and save the world. When that plan didn't work out, I settled into a life teaching in the public schools for the next 28 years. Commitment is definitely going to be an issue on any future endeavors. I definitely don't want to feel stuck into my work. I know that I am so good at 'making things work' regardless of whether it is truly a good fit for me that I have to stay aware of that inner voice of knowing....knowing my purpose and keeping that the focus, not making something work for the sake of ...whoever or whatever.

I hope this pity party passes...I feel like I've been stuck in it for a while and I want to scream. I also notice that I haven't been writing....anything. Could that be effecting this lovely mood of the blues that I've been in for a bit?

Packing in all in

This week is the week before Chris has some vacation time. I am also taking time off from my life. I have no yoga classes and I may only squeeze one tutoring session in next week. I am trying to get all my plans finished so that I can really take time off....even mentally, especially mentally.

We haven't planned anything specific for next week and I am thinking we need to get some plans made or the week will go by and we really won't get a change from our usual, rutfilled rountines! I wish we could go away and really get a change of pace but that is not going to happen this year. I feel a list coming on with fun day activities that we could do and enjoy. Going to the beach in late afternoon, picnics, movies we want to see, concerts in the park, taking the boat from Providence to Newport and exploring...all things that will be good to plan and do. Home days for kitchen prep...maybe doing a bit more of the demolition and then some! Lots of packing away stuff. Do the fun stuff first and then demo stuff later.

Why am I packing all this in??? I need to change my thinking on the inner clock.

What is this???

I have been reading the knitting blogs and I feel like jumping in! It been a while since I took a spin around the needles but the zen of knitting is calling to me. This brings me to a questions....should this blog have a specific focus....knitting, writing, golf, yoga, cooking, fitness????
My answer is I want a place to do all that....and more. So what is this blog and what is its purpose?
I guess I feel like there are more people like me.....in what is called mid-life and exploring life in a different way. This time is a strange combination of emotions and this is a place to sort some of what is happening out.
I feel like I have been putting my toe in the water of many different things but I am not sure if there is just one pool I want to dive into. It feels wonderful to have opportunities to do lots of different things. The challenges I face are more the mental roadblocks I put up in letting myself explore.
In some ways, all the little parts of my life are so scattered. Each part does provide a different energy. I am just not used to having this freedom of choice and the restraint I put on my choices can be upsetting. I am seeing some of the lessons that I needed to experience in my old job coming to new obstacles in my life today. Do I need to get these lessons?? The opportunities seem to happen no matter where I am so I guess that answers the big question.
Life at the oasis is sometimes not so easy!!

You Can Never Go Back

So I have been doing my old job for 6 days in the past month and I have taken migraine medicine five times...ummmm. Interesting. This makes me think I made a good decision in leaving two years ago. I just can't believe how it feels like I never left that job....doing the paper work, dealing with the people, and multi-tasking with the ticking of the running clock. Going into a school ten days before closing is like walking into a minefield.....there is tension, excitement, anxiety and irritability in every step. I really feel grateful for the practice of yoga in my life. It is providing me with a centering and a sense of non-attachment to the crazy dance going on around me. I realize how much doing that job saps me of the energy to do other things in my life.

On a more positive note, Beth came home for a few days and its been great to see her. Beth and her beautiful golden retriever, Jameson, are a match made in heaven and its great to see them together. Hanging out and finding silly things to laugh about are moments of incredible joy for me.
Another moment of joy happened when Jill's godchild finally arrived. Jill's friend had her baby girl and Jill was with her through it all. It is alittle bit of an out of body experience to hear Jill talk about the whole event and think that she is actually old enough to be living this part of her life.

So the title of Never Going Back relates to so many things. I need to take Joy in today.....

Life Goes On

It has been a month since I have blogged.....too long. I am now back doing 10 days in my old job and I realized that at times it feels like I have never left...and on the other hand, that life does go on. I did make the 'right' decision for me in leaving this job two years ago. It is nice to see the people I worked with and some of the students I worked with two years ago but I also know that I don't want to be involved in the crazy dance that happens there. I am really so blessed in my post school life. My challenges and lessons are presented differently but I clearly see similarities in what lessons were presented during my school time and what is happening in my life now. Lessons involve setting boundaries, taking one thing at a time, taking care of others without giving myself away.....there are so many times I have been presented with opportunities to learn these lessons at so many levels.
I have a deeper appreciation for the Yoga teaching I am doing and how good that is for me and for my students. I also need to concentrate on opening myself to more students in my classes and know that what I offer them is important for them.
Life goes on for all of us!