Wednesday, May 2, 2007

In Conflict

I have been struggling with a decision....and it feels good to finally make the decision and finally let go of the struggle. Its not a big, life altering decision but it will effect my life for three weeks. In my head, I knew that this struggle was another piece of small stuff that really didn't matter but my mind was another matter. The pros and cons of the decision crept into my thoughts when I travelled through my day....even waking me up from a restless sleep, and my first thought was of MY DECISION. Needless to say, alot of emotions surrounded my decision. I was asked to go back to my old job for about three weeks. I knew that I would probably be asked this for some time and have been wavering about the possibility. It was hard to leave the job and it is also hard thinking about going back. Finally I decided that I would do this for many reasons. This is a time when my Artist's Way class has ended and my writing group has ended so there is a window of time here that works. My schedule can be adjusted around my yoga class so that is good.
In talking to the principal, it seems funny that my first day is already planned with a big intake. It felt good to think about program planning for a new student. It has been a while. My thought is to stay positive about this time and to stay will be a wonderful practice. It will also be great to be with the kids again and experience their wonderful energy. Right now I am not going to think about any negatives!!
My life feels so different now than it did two years ago. I appreciate my schedule and the pace of my life. I also realize that I am looking at new and different things to put into my life for fullness. I don't want to make any big committments so it has been a time of putting my toe in the water for some things and that feels right. As opportunities present themselves I need to go with the flow and be clear and positive about the direction I am moving.
Being in conflict is an uncomfortable place....especially when the conflict resides within. Sometimes it helps to just acknowledge the conflict and now that with time, it will resolve and the path will unfold.

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