Sunday, May 17, 2009

The Answers

There are times when this seems like a great place to get the answers to all life's questions....or all the questions I have about my life. The purpose, the plan, my sacred contracts....all that good stuff. This picture makes me think of that place....the place to go to sort out all sorts of life's questions. There is something so strong in being by the ocean.....the connection between this world and everything else. I love that sense of being part of something much bigger than the every day mundane. I get the truest sense of that type of connection by the ocean.

Being by the water has always been a part of my life. Thinking through the issues going on in my life probably started when I was a kid. I remember sitting in the rowboat at the beach and thinking about what was going in my life. Family issues were usually at the forefront of those times in the rowboat. Later, going to the "big beach" with the big waves was a great treat. I also found a great sense of peace at the big beach. Deciding on my career and where I would start this career was another problem that I took to the beach one summer. Walking on the breakwater and watching the ferry arrive in the Old Harbor of Block Island, I knew that I would begin my teaching career close to home and not in the Virgin Islands, as I had hoped. A few months later, I used my time by the ocean in St. Thomas to come to terms with going by home rather than stay in what I thought was an impossible situation. I guess I am glad that I had the opportunity but I do think that was so impacted by that turn of events in my life. Later my time at the beach was to again come to terms with the end of a love. For a long time, being at the beach brought up such sadness. The ocean symbolized all the times by the beaches in Bermuda and all the fun I shared. Being at the beaches here brought up a deep sadness and it also brought up a deeper healing. In my early thirties, having beach days with my godchildren brought that wonderful sense of playfulness back to the beach. I found that sense of fun again at the beach and I will always be grateful to my godchildren for that.

I enjoy the beach now, but in a different way. I have learned how to apply sunscreen more often and to be near the bathrooms. I have learned how to wear my reading glasses under my sunglasses. (This is something I won't do with the godchildren). I have also learned to enjoy the time at the beach and let it be. Even though this all sounds mundane, I still know that the beach is a sacred place for me. When I get to the beach and allow myself to get quiet and connect, I listen. Not just to the sounds of the seagulls, the foghorns or the rolling waves, I listen to that all-knowing, all- loving voice.

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