Time To Fancy Up This Blog

I have been taking a little time today....not cleaning the house....to read through my old blog posts. I just really think I need to fancy up this blog big time! I see many blogspot bloggers who have very nice blogs with great visuals. The visuals really help the reader enjoy the blog and I know I need alot more. Considering I have trouble placing photos within my blog posts, I could be in big trouble. It also helps to get some other interesting information into the blog....links to other blogs I like, books I am reading, recipes I am trying, yoga wisdom and other good stuff that like minded people may enjoy. I think its time to treat this blog like a job; a job I love and really want to enjoy!

Just Another Day...On The Couch

This picture could be taken any day of the week around 4pm. Like clockwork, Chris, Jack and Ricky find their way to naptime on or around the comfy couch. Well, I don't think that this couch is really that comfy but I guess it is the perfect thing for the boys. Naptime is a sacred time around here and things like the phone, doorbell, or stove timer are completely ignored during this solemn time of male bonding. Jack and Ricky prepared for this ritual well before Chris comes home around 3:30. Early in the afternoon the canine pair take up residence on either side of the couch and listen intently. At each sound of a car or a voice they rush to the back door, barking wildly, ready to greet Chris and tell him of the day's events. Their little hearts look broken when they realize that it was just a false alarm. As a matter of fact, Ricky has learned to let Jack do the running and barking while he waits to make sure its the real thing. They are a comical team.

When Chris does finally get in the door and settles into his afternoon routine. Jack and Ricky wait patiently for him to get into "couch mode". This does not take long! If both dogs are on the couch, rather than telling them to move, Chris walks into the kitchen because he knows they will follow him and then comes back into the den and promptly rearranges the couch for naptime. The boys find their favorite spots; Ricky is usually at the end of the couch on the arm and Jack cuddles into the white blanket kind of spooning with Chris. Within five minutes, Chris is oblivious to all this and in dreamland....Tough life for all!

Happy New Year

Back to writing....back to self. A year of hope.....for what is to come, for my ability to embrace the changes in the new year, for the ability to enjoy whatever is to come. A sense of change feels around me. I know that I can deal with change in lots of ways; I hope I chose healthy ways to deal with what will happen whether I am ready or not.
I have so much to be in gratitude. Keep my focus on being grateful and allow things to enfold as they do. Keep my eyes wide open to the opportunities around me and enjoy what is there. Sounds so easy but in my busy-ness I can miss so much. For the new year.....so many things to remember, but most of all there is love.
Buckle up and get ready....time to enjoy the trip into 2011!

Changing Things Up

Today we are getting a new bed. Sounds so simple and basically it is except for all the rearranging we needed to do. I am so excited to finally be able to sleep in a big comfortable bed without the loud creaky and small space of our old bed. I loved knowing that the old bed was basically handed down from my Aunt Annis but in the end, comfort rules out. The old bed was not only very hard to sleep in, it was really noisy. Every time one of us turned over (and that in itself is tricky in a full size bed) the sounds of the creaky bed seemed magnified.
Enough about the old bed....in with the new. A BIG king-size bed with a pillow top...I am going to be in bed heaven! I can't wait to sleep in it. Decisions to need to be made. I need to think about a comforter and blankets for this new addition to our furniture.
It's not just the bed I am excited about...the other great outcome in this big purchase was cleaning out the bedroom and not putting all the stuff back it. Having a bedroom that feels clean (especially for Chris and his difficulties with sinus/ migrane issues), airy and calm will be so wonderful. It surprised me that I really am so happy about spending lots of money on a bed. There is also this nagging part that says....this could have been a vacation. My middle-aged voice is responding by saying, "Now, every night will feel like a vacation." I hate to say this but I think I am getting sensible in my "old age".

Balance...

The reoccuring lesson in my life...being in balance. Between work and play, social time and alone time, exercise and being a couch potato, proteins and carbs....balance on so many levels. Yoga has really helped me to notice balance (and/or the lack of balance) in my life and for that, I am grateful. Winter is a wonderful time to get still and get refocused. I do see how easily I let the balance equilibrium let go. Makes me wonder if I am just more used to be out of balance than I am to being in balance.

I also realize that it takes work to keep myself in balance. I need to put certain things as a priority to maintain my balance. Having the time to exercise and cook healthy meals is a pretty basic step. Usually that is something I can struggle with when I am off track. But what are the other things I need to do so that I stay in balance?

Creating space in my day for quiet, staying clear of toxic people or thoughts, accomplishing the goals I set out to do......all lead to that wonderful sense of fullness.

What can I do to stay in balance or bring myself to balance everyday? All suggestions are welcomed!

There is something about rain in the fall that triggers the coming of winter. The sky and the trees seem muted, not showing their best colors. I know that the rain is a good thing for the lawn, especially since we put the last of the fall seed down this week. And I also know that it is much better than the 10 inches of snow that blanketed some parts of Pennsylvania this past week. I am just tired and the rhythm of the rain and the grayness of the day add to list of reasons for napping. I don't have time to nap......there are so many projects that I want to attack around the house. The list is endless; or at least to me, the list feels endless.

I am so lucky today. I have ordered our groceries online so I don't have to get soaked running out to the Shaw's to get our weekly supply of food. I have a turkey defrosted and ready to put in the oven so the kitchen will be nice and toastly most of the afternoon. A stack of great books that I requested from the library are sitting on the coffee table just waiting to be cracked open. The phone is not ringing; there are no crisis that I know of that could take me away from this wonderful afternoon. And yet....I feel unsettled. I should be scrapping and washing the white paint on the porch so that I can give it a quick coat of paint before the winter. I need to get those unruly weeds handled and while I am at it, the perennials need to be trimmed back for winter also. Not to mention the trips to the mall and the card shop for birthday gifts for Katie and Justin that should happen today. My head is filled with so much stuff of what I should be doing, that I could in fact, ruin this wonderful day of rest.

I know I need to breathe....take in this moment. Savor this calm and peacefulness......let it be.

The list can wait...at least for a little while.

Tuesdays........

I consider Tuesdays a busy day because it begins busy. I need to realize that it doesn't stay that way. I really have plenty of time in a Tuesday for things that are good for me: writing, exercise, reading a good book, or cleaning the house. What I tend to do it let the busy time in the morning become the feeling of the day.



Most Tuesday I get up early to get ready for the day. Driving to a school about 20 minutes away to tutor for an hour. I get home and have about 45 minutes to then get ready for my yoga class....this is the one I teach. After yoga, I usually grab a tea and lunch with friends. In years past, I had another tutoring student to drive to but now I have some time to either stick in work from another job that I can do at home or I can actually read. Today when I get home, I think I will cut the lawn. It feels so good to see the yard neat ...or neater than it is now! After that, I have an early evening yoga class that I enjoy as a student.



So I realize that Tuesday is actually a very nice day with a wonderful degree of balance in it for me. Recognizing when things are going well is a practice and one that I need to remind myself to visit more often.

Enjoying the moment of Fall

Chris and I traveled to Portsmouth to a cookout yesterday. As we drove east on 195, I noticed the shades of the leaves on the trees showing the beginnings of fall. It just seemed too early. Maybe the amount of cool, rainy days this summer and the lack of oppressive humidity (which I will not complain about) added to my body clock being off. I realize that it is time for a shift.

Fall is actually my favorite season of the year. I love the bright blue sky and the crisp autumn air. It my body, fall just feels right: not too hot or too cold. Being outside is enjoyable and coming in from an afternoon of raking to a hot pot of simmering soup is a part of the fall ritual. The smell of the air at night - dried leaves, dewy grass and the beginnings of frost excite me.

Getting back to my kitchen and trying some new recipes is usually a part of my fall routine. Apples baking, chili on the stovetop and a warm cup of tea can be a wonderful image of a fall afternoon. Enjoying the moments of fall and not viewing it as a precursor to winter is my goal for fall. Being right where I am supposed to be and not a step ahead or behind has helped me to appreciate all the seasons. There are so many gifts through all of it.

How did my kitchen get that lived in look? This picture shows the pre-Easter brunch prep. Working the four jobs the past few weeks...no its been months, my time in the kitchen and in the house shows. My lack of time shows. I have a lighter week this week with two of the four jobs off so getting time to bring my attention and some elbow grease to cleaning up my digs will feel great. We were able to power wash and paint the porch. I still need to paint part of porch to finish but having the floor and the stairs finished is a great start.

The thing that drives me crazy about doing these jobs is the steps of prep to get ready to do the job. Take the porch job as an example. Okay...so before I could paint the porch, it needed to be cleaned off of the furniture, plants and stray cat bed/food area. It needed to be power washed and swept as the leaves from the trees seemed to have a magnetic attraction to the floor. As I painted the floor, I realized that I need to trim the hedges near the stairs so that I can paint the front columns. When I trim the main bush, I might as well, do the other hedges because I have the clippers out. (I can really get carried away with the clippers, as I newly learned with the power washer...how cool.) Realizing that the bushes needed trimming, I remembered that we needed to get some manure and top soil in the garden and on the bare spots on the lawn. Getting grass seed to those bare spots in another job that needs to be done. I will need to rough up the soil with the new garden tool so that the grass seed will take. Now, we can start thinking of some plants: herbs, tomatoes, and coleus for Chris. It is so easy to scatter when doing jobs because each individual job has many sub-jobs that need to happen before the job even gets started. No wonder I am tired!!

So back to the kitchen....... I notice that the kitchen is a good barometer to what is going on for me. If I am messy, the kitchen looks it. When I feel clear and focus, the kitchen is usually neat and clean. Now for the rest of the house!

The Answers

There are times when this seems like a great place to get the answers to all life's questions....or all the questions I have about my life. The purpose, the plan, my sacred contracts....all that good stuff. This picture makes me think of that place....the place to go to sort out all sorts of life's questions. There is something so strong in being by the ocean.....the connection between this world and everything else. I love that sense of being part of something much bigger than the every day mundane. I get the truest sense of that type of connection by the ocean.

Being by the water has always been a part of my life. Thinking through the issues going on in my life probably started when I was a kid. I remember sitting in the rowboat at the beach and thinking about what was going in my life. Family issues were usually at the forefront of those times in the rowboat. Later, going to the "big beach" with the big waves was a great treat. I also found a great sense of peace at the big beach. Deciding on my career and where I would start this career was another problem that I took to the beach one summer. Walking on the breakwater and watching the ferry arrive in the Old Harbor of Block Island, I knew that I would begin my teaching career close to home and not in the Virgin Islands, as I had hoped. A few months later, I used my time by the ocean in St. Thomas to come to terms with going by home rather than stay in what I thought was an impossible situation. I guess I am glad that I had the opportunity but I do think that was so impacted by that turn of events in my life. Later my time at the beach was to again come to terms with the end of a love. For a long time, being at the beach brought up such sadness. The ocean symbolized all the times by the beaches in Bermuda and all the fun I shared. Being at the beaches here brought up a deep sadness and it also brought up a deeper healing. In my early thirties, having beach days with my godchildren brought that wonderful sense of playfulness back to the beach. I found that sense of fun again at the beach and I will always be grateful to my godchildren for that.

I enjoy the beach now, but in a different way. I have learned how to apply sunscreen more often and to be near the bathrooms. I have learned how to wear my reading glasses under my sunglasses. (This is something I won't do with the godchildren). I have also learned to enjoy the time at the beach and let it be. Even though this all sounds mundane, I still know that the beach is a sacred place for me. When I get to the beach and allow myself to get quiet and connect, I listen. Not just to the sounds of the seagulls, the foghorns or the rolling waves, I listen to that all-knowing, all- loving voice.

Block Island: The Return

Block Island.... a place of reflection. I had not been to Block Island in over 15 years, I think. Last week we had a combination field trip/working meeting on Block Island. It felt great to see that piece of my past. The roads looked so familiar, yet, I could not find the guest house that I stayed in with Dot years and years ago. It was right on the side street by the ferry dock and it should have been there....but it wasn't. Some of the familiar buildings were spruced up over the years and others were showing the effects of their years.

Having someone visiting Block Island for the first time made our trip even more special. I think at one point she must have been on overload with all our side stories of this little place. Even with all the chatter, there was space in the day to enjoy the quiet, the calm and the beauty of this wonderful place. I still felt I had time to reflect as I looked out over Mohegan's Bluff. The enormity of the ocean is a great stabilizer, putting all the little stuff in perspective. Watching the waves crash over the rocks was actually comforting. The blues and greens of the water invited oohhhs and aaahhs from the group. Most of all there was a connection to it all that made the day so wonderful.

We got to visit a farm on Block Island with some wonderful animals. Even the animals seemed to know that they were in some special place. I loved Jane, our boss, describe the animals arriving at the farm and running into the pasture as if returning home from a long trip. I can totally relate to how they must have felt...I think a part of me felt that way too.

Spring is just around the corner

This could be wishful thinking or I could really be on to something here. In running around doing my errands to prepare for next week's trip to a conference, I am getting a wonderful scent in the air. The scent of spring......the snow is melting and the ground is receiving this wonderful nectar to loosen the soil and awaken the roots of our spring flowers. It looks pretty brown and frozen on the surface but deep down there is a whole lot of shakin' goin' on! I can almost see buds coming on the plants and trees that are in the sun. I know that I am rushing it but its been a really long winter!

Just Jack

Jack is my grand-god dog. Ok, so we have ways to define relationships that I find heart-warming and this grand-goddog is another example. Jack is my godchild,Jill's dog. Since we all live the in same house (it's a duplex), we are lucky enough to get to see alot of Jack. Jack is not really a bee, as he is seen in the photo. Jack is a Yorkie. Chris has renamed Jack, The Terrorist, because Jack thinks he is truly fearless when he starts to play. The sounds Jack makes while he is getting you to pull on his rope toy or his ball are ferocious sounding. Jack totally wants to be one of the big kids. He will run faster than the wind to get the ball before Ricky gets a chance to grab it. He also tries to play that he is dominant over Lucy, standing on the couch looking down at her with a clear expression on his face that he is the boss. Lucy and Ricky are lucky enough to have the wisdom of thier ages to help them deal with the wild young man. They set him straight gently and they do let him get the ball quite alot.
The best thing to see with Jack is to watch and see his excitment when his Jill comes home. He totally becomes unglued when she talks to him in a certain way. Jill can make her voice very high and wavering and Jack just goes spastic when he hears it. They did have a bit of a power struggle when Jack decided that he was no longer going to wear the designer outfits that Jill had in her closet for him. Jack protested by doing what the picture shows.....he would stay in one place on the floor and refuse to move. This not moving is highly unusual for Jack, he is always moving. So the outcome of the struggle ....well, you probably know what the outcome was......so far the score is Jack 1 and Jill 0......

Nano Write

I am a winner!! I finished another 50,000 words today in the NanoWriMO and it felt great. I don't think I have much to say here. I have been writing so much this month, I am almost out of words. My writing this year continued the story I started last year. I hope to truly finish the story in the next few days. This book needs a great deal of work. There are changes that I thought of along the way but I didn't want to interrupt the writing. I had to get the story out first. So interesting to write the story of the characters and not wanting anything bad to happen to them.

What Have I Been Up To?

So the answer is not 5'4"....even that makes me groan. I am doing the NanoWrite as you can see by my very cute little label over to the right. The idea is to write 50,000 words during the month of November. Last year, I made it to 50,000 and then December came. My kitchen remodel began and my Nano novel stayed in its binder on a bookshelf. The story was at a pivotal point and the five women characters were about to enter into a transformational experience.......that's when I got stuck. I knew that I wanted it to be REALLY big and I was really good at procrastinating. Sometimes when we expect something so wonderful, we are paralyzed to even begin with the tiniest baby step.

As this November 1st rolled around, I knew it was time to dig in again. I have made my daily quota of 1667 words and not much more. I remind myself of the kids I had in school when they did an assignment where they had to write a paragraph. Usually one brave soul would raise their hand and ask, "How many sentences does the paragraph have to have?" Looking around the room, it seemed as though all eyes were on me, waiting for the absolute minimun that would be expected. I usually tried to give some philosophical response, but in the end usually one student would not give up and go for a number. I think I learned a bad habit from my students.

On a much brighter note......finally, we have a reason to believe: Barack Obama won the Presidential election last night. I can feel myself get so emotional realizing the work, faith and tenacity that he had to have to accomplish this goal this time around. It has been so long since there have been heros. It makes me feel hopeful for the next generations to be able to move this country forward; away from intolerance, ignorance and hatred to unity, compassion and accomplishment for the greater good. As we move to a more spiritual and compassionate world, this man holds great promise. My faith has been restored in the American people.

Learning Something New Everyday

I learned today that I don't play enough. I guess I have known that for a while. I have a rushed, hectic feeling inside that tends to tell me that it's not ok to play,even for a few mintues. I know that if I played for a little, I would enjoy my work more.....but play feels like procrastination and I am so very good at that.
Take today for example....I had a meeting for a student this morning and it was a great celebration of her work. I knew that there was a mountain of work to prepare for another job and it was waiting for me when I got home. Leaving the morning meeting, the sun was shining in a beautiful blue October sky and the temperature was just right for me. I decided that Chris and I needed to get outside before I had to attach myself to this computer. We went to one of my favorite places, the clamshack on the beach-Iggy's. I have learned to order things that work for my body there rather than the clamcakes! The hour or so we spent there was like a shot in the arm.
When I got home, I still had alot of work to do but I had a wonderful feeling that I had a little fun in this day!

A Good Day

I guess it truly means that I am in mid-life when I am rating a day as good based on my cholesterol numbers are getting better; much better. They should be! For the past seven weeks I have been doing this Detox program...so it was a relief to see that the work has been paying off. Seven weeks without pastas, breads, sugar, milk, and see what happens. I really had no clue how the blood work would turn out since the program basically includes at least one egg a day. Now I am thinking that bringing back whole grains would be a good thing because it would provide an alternative to the egg for breakfast. What have I learned in all of this? That vegetables are a good thing and that our bodies are really meant to have whole, unprocessed food. How much better things work with whole food.....and not too much of it. Let's see what the next three months bring....it sure felt good to get off the blood pressure meds.

Diners, Drive-ins and .....Work!!

The sound of my old computer finally stopping felt a bit like a death. The end of the whirring motor, the absolute quiet of the room seemed so strange. I am very excited about my new computer.....with wireless everything. Maybe this new set up will be the motivation I need to get to this blog more often.

I went to the Liberty Elm Diner in Providence for lunch with Anne. The diner is just such a wonderful funky place......the music, the people, the food. As we were having lunch, a colorful old school bus painted hippie style pulled up in front of the diner. Tink, our version of Alice at Mel's diner, ran out to greet the bus, jumping up and down and waving. A group of actors from Vermont found their way into the diner for breakfast/lunch. It was great to feel the energy shift in that place. Before the new visitors entered, one of the cooks was standing at the counter saying, "Please let them come in and have something to eat". It was wonderful to see the action begin in the diner and feel the happiness of the diner staff, greeting these strangers like old friends. When I am at the Liberty Elm, I just want them to really succeed for so many reasons. The wonderful group of people are really giving back to the neighborhood; they are supporting using fresh, local goods and they are encouraging other artists to either perform or display thier artwork. Going to the Libery Elm feels like a dip in pool of creativity in this world....it feels wonderful to be a part of this artful place, even if it is only to share eggs and a coffee.

A Great Day

There was nothing unusual or special about today; yet, it has been a wonderful day. The weather is absolutely gorgeous. After an early morning meeting at an alternative high school, we went to plan our yoga classes at the beach. Not the beautiful ocean beach, but a nice beach on the bay that is only about 10 minutes away. The sun, the water and the sounds of the beach were wonderful. It was the perfect temperature for me today...probably in the low 70's with bright blue sky and a gentle breeze. I even put my feet in the water.....it was refreshingly chilly. How lucky I am to have a day with work and play in a wonderful balance.

There is no excuse~

I know that there is no excuse for not getting to this blog. I realize that I have not added one little word since August....and that feels just wrong. So what has been happening?? When I look at the big bits of time, I would say "Not much"....but each day there seems to be so much to do. Tutoring students, getting the dog bite prevention program finished, transitioning to the fall in yoga and in my closets, and advocating for those wonderful kids who show up in my life needing someone to be their voice has really kept me moving these past few months. I also have been healing, or trying to recoup from the knee surgery in June. I feel like Rodney Dangerfield or George Burns when I say...my knee is great, its the rest of my body that is falling apart. Maybe getting to a place of realization that my knees are not going to be pain-free has been more difficult to accept than I want to admit. Knowing that I need to consider how my knees feel in doing certain things does get me pissy somedays. A low beach chair will never be as enjoyable as they used to be....what a bad attitude to have. I need to change that and that is why I am doing some overtime with a physical therapist.

A question I need to ask myself is "what am I doing for me.....to get out of myself, get creative, explore....for me? So much lately has been what I need to do to get ready for tomorrow. I guess I need to get time in that is playful...just for me!

So now, its off to a great yoga class....just for me!