Just What I Need

It's snowing and raining.....just another dreary winter day in New England. My thoughts turn to what I need....

I need a day at the beach with warm sun, a gentle breeze, a comfy sand chair and a great book...ahhh.

I need a great book....just finished The Pillars of The Earth and now I look forward to another great story.

I need time in my kitchen. Well, I did just get that...I made a great Vegetable Tortellini Soup with Garlic and Cheesy breadsticks.

I need to connect with the positive people in my life...they are such a wonderful gift.

I need to look for the joy in today....and find it!

D Day

Today is the day.....we are going to get our taxes done this evening. This means all those hours of work in getting the numbers in the correct column that I needed to do all year long will be done today. What am I doing? Well, basically, anything that will put off digging into the numbers! I know I need to just get myself to the table, sprawl out all the papers and dig in. Once I start, I know it won't be as bad as all the energy I have spend thinking about it. For days, I have been thinking and thinking of getting this stuff together and just pooping out when it came down to actually getting pencil to paper. Well, now, the clock is ticking and I am still waiting!!! My inner teacher is saying, "Snap out of it."

Isn't it great how every other job in the house seems to be more important than starting on the taxes? Yesterday, I switched all my spices into three wonderful lazy susan spice containers and I had my friends over for dinner. Doing all that I didn't have time for taxes and then later, I couldn't mess up the dining room table. After dinner, I was just too tired to start on them because I truly am a morning person.

For today, I promise not to answer the door or the phone until the job is finished. I know that the one phone call or visitor will pull me out of my focus and now this is serious business. In eight short hours, I will be handing over these numbers to a very competent tax person and that will feel priceless!

So much has happened

Yes, it has been too long, I know. Getting to make myself call up the page and put some words into sentences was just one more thing that I allowed to slip away.

The photoa above give you some idea of what has been going on for the past few months that took up my time. We demoed (a new verb I tend to overuse) the kitchen and found two gifted contractors to do the magic of creating our new space. The totally finished kitchen photos are still stuck in the digital camera but I will get them out soon and show the details.

Looking at the pictures has been an eye opener.....realizing the chaos we were living in physically and mentally just makes my head ache. I heard the horror stories of doing a kitchen remodel and I definitely did not look forward to that part. I found while we were going through it, I just dealt with each piece and although I didn't like the confusion, dust and work, it didn't seem as awful as the pictures look now. It is an interesting process....... doing a remodel. I definitely lack the skill, patience and stamina to make a habit of jobs like this one. I really am enjoying the finished part of this job. Now we are working at getting everything to work as it is supposed to.....our washing machine has decided it doesn't like the rinse cycle or letting cold water pass through or dispensing fabric softener or bleach. I am getting to know our repair man so well now since he has been here three times in two weeks. All in all, I consider myself so lucky to have this wonderful kitchen and all the good feelings the comfort of that room can bring!

The Writing Life

The writing life...doesn't it sound so romantic! Maybe not to everyone..I am thinking of my old students who moaned and groaned and fell on the floor when asked to write.
I have joined the Nanowrimo this year (www.nanowrimo.org ) and so far I am on target. The goal is to write a 50,000 word novel during the month of November. This breaks down to 1667 words at day. It definitely is going to be an interesting ride, just seeing if I can make it through 50000 words. My writing tends to be concise.....so thinking of a word count can make me crazy. My Master's thesis was only 41 pages....I said what I needed to say and that was it. I am having fun with this project and when I figure out how to do links on this blog, I 'll add them here.
On the home front, the kitchen remodel is up and running. I signed the contract with the "kitchen guy". I guess I should call him the kitchen and bathroom guy because both rooms are getting done. Yesterday, I got a call from the cabinet company to set up an approximate delivery date. Now it is real. My dining room has no furniture and part of the kitchen is in there....and has been in there for a couple of weeks....but the cabinet call made it real to me. Crazy..huh?

October 28th

I know that I have been among this missing lately and that is not good. I need to write....I need to write more. For me. I guess I will be getting lots of writing in during November. I have joined the Nanowrimo project which involves writing a 50,000 word novel or novella in 30 days. I think this will be great. I have had a few ideas bubbling around for books but that's all they have been doing for a few years. Its time to put the pedal to the metal and see what comes of it. My blogging is a good way to keep me oiled up for the pages ahead. This weekend, after the kitchen demo and clean up ( a whole other story) I need to look at some character outlines to help me really get a better idea of whose heads I will be living in for a while. The actual writing starts November 1st with my personal goal of about 2000 words a day. This will be quite the feat for me, the writer of brief and concise words. I am struggling with voice (does each main character tell the story from their point of view or is it narrated). How much do I outline beforehand...or do I let it flow and see where it goes. Let's see what this next step brings.....

Discoveries...

Discovering..... I guess I am in the slow group today thinking about Columbus and discovering America (or maybe not). Discoveries are so exciting, even the discoveries that we don't want to make. Discoveries get your heart racing and the sense of anticipation can be felt in the air. Living the life of an adventurer must be exciting because they are constantly expecting a new discovery. How many discoveries have I missed by going about my business??? Discovering the first tree to begin the beautiful buds of spring or the turn of its leaves in autuum. Discovering a new place to visit. Or more importantly, discovering new people to open our lives to....possibilities. Keeping my mind and heart open to discoveries and enjoying that process. This is a big leap from doing the major kitchen clean up and toss that I've been doing most of the weekend. I think while sifting through the items of everyday living that may bog me down, my mind was travelling to new lands. What did I discover as I tried to get the kitchen ready for Demo 101? That duct tape can hold a leaky faucet in place so the pipes do not sound like a fog horn every time the toilet is flushed or the washer begins a cycle. I do not need so much of the stuff that I have...old nail polish, cold medicine, extra pans, or 5 kinds of cleaner for the same job. I enjoy some of the utensils that my parents and grandparents used...it makes me feel connected to them while I cook in some strange way. I guess I made some discoveries of my own this weekend!

Going With The Flow

Going with the flow authentically is what I am working on today. I had a difficult conversation with an office person at my doctor's office yesterday that stirred up alot of old insecure feelings. It was wonderful to have the benefit of my morning pages(from Julia Cameron's Artist Way Program) and planning my yoga class with an Ahimsa (non-violence, compassion to other's and self) theme to help me shift from toxic, sludgy feelings to a moving on type of flow. Phew....I feel such a release in my breath and that is good!

Yesterday was the eleventh anniversary of my mom's passing. I really don't like to mark the passing but I do love to remember her vibrancy in life. Her ability to laugh out loud and to connect with so many types of people. I do miss seeing my mom in the here and now but I do feel a connection to her in my life when I need her most. During her decline in health I was really rocked to my core. Fear was probably my biggest emotion that I tried to mask that fear by being super knowledgeable about her treatments. I constantly keep looking for more information and pushing for better solutions. I think that was good but I also think I spent a great deal of energy trying not to feel the emotion around all the possibilities. When your parent is sick and you grow into the role of care-taker, it is a great shift. My mom was such a wonderful care-giver throughout my life that it was very hard to measure up to her. We shared a similar sense of humor and that brought up much laughter during our years together. Even when the tension of regular mother-daughter passages arouse, we could usually enjoy a good laugh together. I know that I was blessed in being my mother's daughter.

Now I am heading off to the world of Yoga. Today's class is the beginning of our fall session in which we will share the yamas and the niyamas. Today's theme is the Yama of Ahimsa or living in non violence. Its such a wonderful way a being and this practice truly helped me turn this day around.